The Tasty Wangs Learn Jazz

by The Tasty Wangs

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One winter, Teacher's blended scotch whiskey was on sale at the NBLC. Much of this was consumed as the Tasty Wangs prepared to record their debut album. But something was missing. The album name. And LSD. LSD mixed with Teacher's was a potent combination, and spun the band through a wishy-washy storm of seduction, crime, blemishes, farming, industrial espionage, sponge painting, car sales, and most importantly, Jazz.

Jazz was the focal point of the acid slur, hardened by the whiskey into a tangible stick, used in violent acts against the band members. Eyebrows were split, pelvis' shattered, penises were squeezed like rancid teenage pimples, feet were twisted off and then hammered into sickly sloshing meatbags. It was disgusting.

However, as the LSD/Teacher's began to wear off, the boys were left coated with a slick film of something. Something palpably important, and honorable. It was jazz, and it was something that would stay with the band for a life time.


released December 12, 2009

Beverly Price - Drums, vocals, great ideas about dad songs
Lord Wigner - Bass, vocals, quacking
Vince the "Neon" Shark - Pocket pool, guitar, vocals, car sales
Rinse Winston - Gentlemanly acts

Uncredited Noones as The Wangettes (Courtesy of Warner Records)

Steven Zaionz - Special Material
Sean Boyer - Recording and Mixing @ Studio Space and Studio Boytimes

Studio Boytimes release BOY005



all rights reserved
Track Name: Our Father
My dad's name is Dad (x3)
We all have the same dad
My mom's name is Mom (x3)
We all have the same mom

We all have the same dad

My brother's name is Brother (x3)
We all have the same brother
My sister's name is Sister (x3)
We all have the same sister

We all have the same dad

My dad's name is Dad (x3)
My mom's name is Mom (x3)
My brother's name is Brother (x3)
My sister's name is Sister (x3)

We all have the same dad / My dad's name is Dad (Repeat like Repeat Pete Pete Pete Pete)
Track Name: The Injustice of Paul Ruben
When I was a young boy / I didn't have too many friends / Except for one man / His name was Paul Reubens!
Every Saturday morning / We'd get together / and we'd go hang out in his playhouse / That's when my life made sense

And then came '91 / my whole world came crashing down / My parents told me "Son" / "You can't watch that pervert no more!"
I didn't understand / Big flippin' whip / So what Pee Wee got caught / getting greasy in a porno theater

It's the injustice of Paul Reubens! (repeat Pete)
Track Name: She Beats Me Up
I fell in love / with an old french liger / she had soft blonde hair / just like prince dianer / she's calling me a loser / I'm gonna go down town / and I'm gonna get drunk yes what boys / she beats me up

Come on baby I don't know what to do / you're always giving me the black-eyed blues / you take my money / punch me in the neck / and you wipe my ass with a swizzle stick
She beats me up

Now I got no hair / and I been whistling like a loon / down at the mayfield fair / she even beats me up there too / and she ate my supper / she already had her own / she couldn't even finish it all / she threw most of it out

Step on my neck and spank my ass
She beats me up

Somebody call the cops / she's standing right over there / she put a pen in every one of my eyeballs / she won't let me take them out
Cry interlude....

Punch me in the dick and wipe my ass
She beats me up
Track Name: One Man Stands Alone
Gimme Dick
Track Name: Love Rash
From a distance it may seem as though I have a red moustache / if you look a little closer honey you'll see that it's only a rash
Oh baby I loved you hard in a bathroom stall in the back of the bar / prop you up right by the sink / I love you honey / you diseased my dink

Love rash / it's spreading fast / love rash / I'm not just scratching my ass / love rash / it's flaring up from the past baby / love rash honey / it's gonna last

I went down town / I went around the block / now I'm going to the drugstore to see if I can get this itching to stop
My pants are soaking wet from the puss that pops out of the head / you can smell from a mile away / my love rash honey it's here to stay

Love rash.....

Girl you got me itching / I've been itching for you loving / but I'm afraid that if we do it again my curly dick will fall off
Yeah well baby I ain't trying to be mean / but when I give you three pumps well I start to bleed / and now I'm done / I called it fun / you're lying there crying all covered in blum

Love rash baby love rash
Track Name: Strange Duck
Strange duck walking down the street / slapping at her belly and stepping all over her feet / she's a strange duck (quack quack) with big rubber lips / always whistling at all them boys and making bubbles with her spit

Strange duck says she wants to be my friend / well I say heck yes now teach me how to dance / you put your elbows out / lift up the flap / give your knees a wobble / now you know just where it's at

That's no way to laugh / don't laugh like that / I said that ain't no way to laugh / don't laugh like that ever again

Quackety quack
Track Name: Pass The Pigs
Pass the pigs
Razorback / sider for six / trotter / pig out
Pass the pigs
Sider / sider / sider / pig out
Pass the pigs

Oooo baby I'm the king of the dice / I been rolling fucking leaning jowlers all night / you know I'm going straight to the top / one hundred in one shot
Pass the pigs

Razorback / leaning jowler / snouter / double leaning jowler
Pass the pigs